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User blog:THEJJRAT/Hduruwhsbsbs
i tried doing this twice and my phone crashed lol im this close to jumping off a building and eating a donut thats made of onions Fuck ____$______$$$ $'$? "What" Moodic thought as he healed a glob of poo that was dropped by a cow. "This is not vorking" he said to himself. He took out his bonesaw and had a seizure. "AHDHJFNDJAODJFHDOA" His apprentice sighed and continued dissecting a dead pig and reanimating it. ______________ Batman was laying on a bed, without his armor, and being fed grapes by a sexy female villager and having other villages waving his cape on him. He then got a call on his watch. "Bruce, where are you?" Father asked. "Being worshipped by the locals." "Why didn't you call me?" "Because I work alone." "Bru-" Batman shut the watch off and continued relaxing. ________ Phasma and Jones were running to the village, but Phasma tripped. "Why u always trippin boi" Indie said and helped her up. But then Jones was shot by a high impact sexual violence. "Ahhh" "Dr. Jones!" Phasma took out her P90 and shot the shooter from across the map like a CSGO pro and helped Indie up. "Oh my" Indie screamed in pain, and Phasma injected some bacta in him with a syringe from her medkit. "The ogres know we're here!" Indie shouted under his breathe. Suddenly, an Ogre Empire star cruiser appeared sending an army of ogres with miniguns to their area. Indie grabbed his whip and Phasma drew her sub machine gun and opened fire upon the dirty ogres. But an ogre appeared behind Phasma and slit her throat. "NOOO" Indie screamed and jumped onto the ogre, beating the shit out of it. Two ogres restrained Indie. "YOU MONSTERS, YOU EVIL MONSTERS!" He screamed and kicked, trying to break free from the clutches of the evil monsters. But then two of the ogres were shot point blank, by a humanoid that looked like the Iron Golem that Batman encountered but looked human instead of blocky. The ogres panicked and put a strange medal like object on Indie's chest, making him teleport away. And then the other ogres got shot. ___________ Phasma woke up, finding herself in a bacta tank. _________ Yes I put Mob Talker into this Rip ______ Batman was having sexual intercourse with a hot humanoid skeleton girl while watching Minecraft's Got Talent on TV. He then got a call on his watch thing. "Why did you hang up on me?" Father screamed. "Because I'm Batman." He ate a handful of popcorn. "Indie's vitals went off the charts, and so did Phasma, and we have no contact with either of them now." "Oh well." "Well you're a detective, and..." "Yeah, well I'm enjoying the time of my life. This is like a vacation. I RARELY HAVE VACATIONS" Batman screamed into the watch. "Uhn, Bruce-Senpai~" She moaned. "Are you doing it with an anime girl" "Maybe." He then shut the watch off (again) _______________ Indie woke up, still hurting from the high impact sexual violence. He was in a small room with corroded red walls, and a force field door. "Hey! Let me out!" He banged on the force field. Two ogre guards laughed and snorted at him. "Ey, look at the tiny baby man trying to escape!" They then lost their sides snorting. _________ Father was trying to get an apple, but it didn't work. "APLLES U Y DOS RHIS" he screamed. He then died and came back to life. __________ Moodic was walking around in circles, extremely confused. SCP-049 had already made an army of zombie pigs. "APPRENTICE, WE NEED TO GET OFF ZHIS LAND" he screamed at 049. "NO, VAIT" ...... "VE NEED TO MAKE AN HOSPITAL" Moodic then ran over to a cave and started mining with his bone saw. "VE SHALL MAKE HISTORY" ______________ Laura, the skeleton girl, was sleeping on Batman's chest. But then Batman heard screaming outside. He carefully removed her and, while still naked, jumped out the window "Muahahaha! I am Painis Cupcake, and I will eat you!" Painis Cupcake screamed and laughed as he destroyed buildings and killed villagers. "Not on my watch." Bruce jumped on Painis and slapped him. "NOOOOOO" Painis said and turned into a squirrel. Batman then took said squirrel and put it in the village's prison. Batman was praised again for this action and was given a trophy made of diamonds. ________ Phasma broke out of the bacta tube by punching the glass, and put on her chromium armor. He busted the door down and started shooting in the air with his machine gun, but was stopped by Batman (who cut the gun in half with his fists) "Batman?!" "I was the one who saved you, dumbass." "But wasn't she a gril...." "Oh yeah I touched SCP-113 on accident." __________ Moodic, having plenty of iron, gold, redstone, marble, and australium, started building the hospital. He was currently building the floor. SCP-049 decided to help him, by smelting the iron ore with a toaster he stole while in Site-19. ___________ Jones was trying to find a way to escape his cell, and found an air vent. The guards were distracted as they were still laughing their fat, green asses off. "Oh, zat slaps me on ze kne- Where'd he go?" ____________ Batman, Laura, and Phasma were leaving the village, waving to the villagers and Batman hauling a bunch of food and loot on his back. Batman has left a waypoint on the watch's GPS for Father and the other guys. They were heading out for an adventure of sorts. They traveled mountains, had threesomes every now and then, fought monsters, ate food (literally all of it), and had bacon. But when Batman arrived he found the giant bacon of legends. He was shocked. How was the bacon bacon. He asked. I don't know. Bacon said. Bacon then ate itself.lol. Batman was confused, but then continued on with his two companions. ______ Moodic had built the walls, floor, and roof of the hospital, and 049 was still smelting. "Apprentice, ve need to find ze medicine!" Moodic screamed at 049. He started heading off into the distance, using his nose to find pills. __________ Father was trying to climb up a mountain, but was dying of malnutrition because he couldn't find any apples. So he decided to eat the dirt. But that was a bad idea as under the dirt was an ants nest, so he screamed and banged his head on the ground and it looked that one scene from Indiana Jones. ___________ TR-8R and Lephret took a trip to the Bahamas because I can't think of anything. __________ Spider Man was still laying on the ground. But then he awoke when he heard strange moaning. He then got up and was spooked by a zombie and web shot it in the face and swung away in spooked. _________ Batman, Phasma, and Laura were pushing against a snow storm, Batman wearing his special white suit thing. "I see somethin-" Phasma was hit in the face by a giant rock. "nooo" Batman saved her and become the hero of ages. Batman then disintegrated. "Noooo" Laura cried and ate all the ashes of Batman, causing a Batman chestburster to burst out of her chest and become the a Xennobat. But then Batman slowly crawled out of the Xenobat, killing it. Laura then died and came back to life. Suddenly, everyone (except Jones, TR, and Lephret) teleported back to the ship, starting over this awful plot. "WHAT IS THA- o where am i" Spider Man said as he magically teleported back to the ship. "I don't know." Batman said, looking around. "It seems we are back at the ship." Batman said, sniffing on the closed door of the Darkness. "Well, all our stuff is gone." Phasma said, looking through an empty bag. "Nooooooooo!" Batman knelt and screamed into the sky. Father was long dead, his insides being eaten by the entire ant colony. But then Chuck Norris appeared and gave him CPR, reviving him and having a tasty snack of a bunch of ants in the process. Chuck Norris then disappeared. "I'm gonna-WHERES MAH GADGETZ" Batman screamed, failing to find his utility belt. "According to the GPS, in where Jones is." Father said. Batman cried, and punched a hole in the wall and decided to live in it. Bruce and Laura then had sex inside of it. __$$_$$__$$$$$__@$;(;:_;3;(;+_?@ Father decided to ditch his space suit, and wear clothes made of dirt. He then continued went forward in a straight line assuming he would find something. Spider Man just webbed himself to the Darkness for safe plot keeping, and everyone did stuff. ___________ Batman was traveling with Laura, in a desert. Bats was sweating, as his armor isn't the coldest thing around. He didn't mind Laura having a sweaty shirt, though. Suddenly, a squirrel appeared. "I have cometh to thou to send thou on a quest." "What quest?" Bats bent down and stared at the squirrel. "Thou must retrieve thou scrolls in thou Castle of Doom." the squirrel said and handed Batman a map. "Thou must defeat thou evil queen and loot thou loot thing and thou scroll will be there in thou thou thou thou." The squirrel said. "Sure." Batman slapped the squirrel and stuffed the map in his own ass. "Laura, to adventure!" He then ran across the land in search of thou scrolls. ____________ Indiana Jones has successfully broken out of his cell. And was heading for the exit. But then he realised.... Jones headed for the cafeteria, and sneakily choked out a guard. He opened the door and shot up the place with an AK-47 from the dead ogre. He then found a stash of cheeseburgers and ate from it. ___________ "Dear God, I need water!" Batman screamed into the sky. There was no water in sight. "CURSE YOU DESERT" he screamed onto the sand, turning it to glass. He then took the glass and screamed at it, turning into a bottle. He then ran over to a pit of lava and filled the glass with lava and drank from it. "Mmmm, finally." Laura was completely 100% confused. "Dammit, amino grils can't drink lava!" He crushed the bottle with his fists of justice. He then saw a cow, and beat the crap out of it and juiced its fabulous utters. He then had a bottle of milk, but then he realised: He had no bacon. Batman cried, mourning the bacon. Why the bacon was gone, he did not know. Laura comforted him and stole the milk at the same time. _____________ "Let me out! I need to feed Donkey!" Shrek cried, chained to the walls. He was then electrified by two ogre guards. "We will harness your power, Shrek...And take over the world!" A bald ogre twirled his moustache and laughed maniacally. "And I will take Donkah and eat him!" "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" __________ Two guards at the entrance. Thirteen guards in the heavy containment chambers, and only three roaming around. Plenty of researchers, too. "Hey, it's pizza- Who is that-" 47 grabbed their heads and smashed them into each other, and dragged their bodies into a bush. ________ jim jams, Jimbo, jimJim jams Spaps was eating a bucket of chicken, enjoying the blazing sun on a sun chair. It was Free Day Of Play of the Game, where RED and BLU's mercs could enjoy themselves while they sent real mercs to fight. Happened every five days, sometimes for an entire week to save cash. Soldiers were rocket jumping, Engineers were Rancho Relaxing, Pyros were feeding the spycrabs, and Snipers were playing dodge ball but with jarate bottles. Spaps took a sip of Nuka Cola, and another Scout sat next to him and polished his Macabre Web scattergun with a wet cloth. "Ah, sweet!" Spammer Smaps, one of Spaps' friends, ripped open a pack of Pánmon and pulled out a rare L.A.S.E.R pan card. He was obsessed with frying pans, he had a genuine frying pan, a regular pan, every season of Pan Man, thousands of bottles of bacon grease, and was a big fan of the Pan Scout football team of Tuefort. His pan collection was large and wide, but lacked a true beauty....The legendary Golden Pan. "Yo, looka dis!" He lightly pushed Spaps with his shoulder, and Spaps took off his sunglasses and looked. "Holy freakin' stupid dumb crap!" He said in disbelief. Only six of those cards existed on planet Earth. "Yo, uh, hide those. You're probably gonna get mugged if they see you whit that." He leaned into him and whispered into his ear. Smaps nodded and put it in his pocket (after putting it in a special case). They then fist bumped and returned to being Scouts. "Here ya go, boys." A fempyro waitresses put down a platter of sandviches and Crita-Cola on the table in the middle of the two Scouts. "Yeah, thanks!" Spaps said and grabbed a sandvich, which had extra lettuce. And Smaps grabbed his, which was shaped like a frying pan. ________ Spaps and Smaps were shopping in a Mann Co store, not too far from the RED base. Spaps was mainly there to stock up on food and PS2 games (They actually let some clones own consoles, but only outdated ones because their cheaper), and Smaps was there for pan collectibles. "Hey, weren't these the guys who invaded Earth a few months back..." Spaps said to himself, having just pulled a LAGO set labeled 8902. "Hey, look at this!" Smaps screamed from the other isle. He dropped the set into the cart, jumped into the cart, and flew over to Smaps. "This is amazing!" Smaps showed Spaps him his iPan. "A frying pan blow up doll?" "Uh, wrong one." He nervously took back the phone and typed on it. "Here," The phone showed a frying pan on sale for only 300 keys. "That's uh steal! Oh, and we need milk." ____________ Some other thinf before the smaps 2 thing sry Jk _________ "Night." Smaps yawned and head to his room in the RED barracks.. "Night." Spaps replied, waiting for him to get back into his room. Spaps had a plan. He was sitting in front of his desk, pencil and paper in hand. It was going to be Smissmass in two months. He pulled out his phone and went to the site Smaps showed him, trade.tf. He told the guy he would get the keys in a month, or two. He was going to get that pan. skmdnnfjfnfnsnsnfn Category:Blog posts